The Airbag

Andy Reid Trades Sons to the Bengals

2007-02-08T13:26:00.000-08:00

After a horrible week for the 2 sons of Eagles Coach Andy Reid, both have been shipped to the Cincinnati Bengals for a 3rd round draft pick.
On Tuesday, authorities claim Britt Reid pointed a handgun at another driver following a dispute. He faces a felony charge of carrying a firearm without a license, making terroristic threats and possession of a controlled substance.
If that wasn't bad enough for the Mormon coach, his other son, Garret Reid, tested positive for heroin after he caused a traffic accident last week that left another motorist injured. That's right, Andy Reid's son was dancing with Mr. Brownstone!
So with all this baggage, Coach Reid has decided to part way with his two boys and look toward the future. With Reid’s philosophy of building through the draft, and the Bengal’s philosophy of signing criminals, this trade appears to make perfect sense for both sides.

Sheryl Crow is Rubbish

2007-01-25T11:49:00.000-08:00

'Girls Gone Wild' CEO Sentenced to Probation

2007-01-23T09:10:00.000-08:00

Joe Francis, founder of "Girls Gone Wild" videos, was given 2 years probation after violating rules designed to prevent exploitation of minors. Two underage girls we're featured in his epic film "Ultimate Spring Break" without having legible documentation of their ages, as required by law.

As part of the plea deal made with the Department of Justice, he was also fined 500,000 beaded necklaces and ordered to show more girl on girl action in the future.

The 33 year old says he's ready to put this behind him, and that he's looking forward to spring break.

Typical Bears Fan

2007-01-17T13:35:00.000-08:00

We Shall Overcome, dawg.

2007-01-16T17:09:00.000-08:00

On Monday our nation celebrated MLK day. And what that great man did for civil rights cannot be measured.

Here at Airbag, we’d like to give another minority group some much needed love. One that gets overlooked when it comes to civil rights. A minority that in todays times, may actually have the least personal freedom. What group is this? This would be White Guys who wish they we’re Black.

This fledgling movement had no real voice until 1990, when Robert Van Winkle made his bold proclamation titled, "To The Extreme."

RVW spawned other great leaders we’d like to give shout outs too. Like my man Brian Austin Green. Bustin' out of his white shell in the mid 90's.

And did you forget about Snow? We didn't. Canada's most prominent leader has been keeping the dream alive. A licky boom boom down. Amen.

Kevin Federline keeps representin’ despite all the racist haters. Popozao my brother. Popozao. Keep doing yo thang.

White guys who wish they we’re black have made great strides over the years toward equality. Maybe one day, dudes like this won't be judged by the color of their skin.

PEACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>

Congrats Alec Baldwin!Golden Globe winner for funniest guy on TV!

2007-01-16T15:55:00.000-08:00

Last night at the Golden Globes one of my all-time favorite funny-men, Alec Baldwin, was presented with “Television’s Most Outstanding Funny Person with a Penis Award."
Alright Alec, it's about time!

Many people don’t realize that, beneath the many layers of body hair and untalented siblings, Alec Baldwin is a gifted comic actor. (Or have you forgotten he starred in such classic 80’s comedies as “Beetlejuice,” “She’s Having a Baby” and “Married to the Mob?”)
Besides those early roles, Baldwin has also garnered critical acclaim for his many turns as host of Saturday Night Live, appearing in such SNL classics as "Toonces: The Driving Cat" and "Bill Brasky: Man Legend!"

Here is a little list of some of Alec Baldwin’s brightest comedic gems.

The Royal Tenenbaums

Proving you don’t have to be looking at Alec Baldwin to laugh at him, Mr. Baldwin lends his witty pipes as the narrator of Wes Anderson’s charming story of incest, drug abuse and a suicidal tennis pro.

Glengarry Glen Ross

“Coffee is for f**kin' closers.”
A classic line delivered in this knee-slapper, considered the “Caddyshack” of the real estate biz.

Pearl Harbor

Mr. Baldwin plays the fictional, tough-as-nails, repressed homosexual, Lt. Col. Jimmy Doolittle (See, even the name is funny. I wonder if Alec came up with that? Probably.) In his funniest role by far, Alec's grizzled deadpan delivery of each wacky over-the-top-macho line of dialogue, makes Roy Scheider look like Rob Schneider.

(***Future post alert - "How to tell your Roy Scheiders from your Rob Schneiders").

Team America: World Police

Alec is mesmerizing in a scathing portrayal of himself…as a puppet.

Brilliant.

Spoon-tang

2007-01-12T19:29:00.000-08:00

To celebrate our first week in the blog-iverse I've written a Haiku about one of our favorite pastimes: spooning.

Maybe you can read it to a loved one or some pleasant looking person on the bus. Enjoy.

You, so very snug -
So warm to cuddle up to
You burn my nipples

Have a great weekend.

Van Dammit!!!!!!

2007-01-11T16:04:00.000-08:00

We apologize. A Van Damn Virus has infiltrated our firewall. Our IT department is working on it. Just try to ignore it.

Apple Inc. announces new iPhone Quattro!

2007-01-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

8 gigs, 4 blades!

click image to enlarge

Shart Attack!!!

2007-01-10T08:42:00.000-08:00

Fake or not, this video does for hot tubbing, what "Jaws" did for swimming in the ocean.

The Airbag TREND WATCH!!! The "Muse-stache"

2007-01-08T10:06:00.000-08:00

Tom Selleck artwork, the hot new trend taking the art world by storm. From Soho to Silverlake, galleries across the nation are overflowing with "Sellecks".

If Helen of Troy had the face that launched a thousand ships, it’s safe to say Tom Selleck has the 'stache that inspired a thousand artists.

But why Selleck, and why now?

“It’s seems his uber-masculinity just compels the artist to create.” Frank Lucero, an art historian who has personally witnessed the rise of Selleck art, from small fad to full-blown movement!

“In this tumultuous time, Mr. Selleck represents a strong All-American male archetype, with a subtle vulnerability that appeals to an artists' sensibilities.” Lucero adds, “You can’t deny his charms...or his mustache. It's iconographic.”

Here we've assembled some of our favorite Sellecks.

The confidence, the smirk, the twinkle in his eyes. All the fundemental elements of a great Selleck are apparent in this piece, obviously inspired by the ending of "Three Men and a Little Lady."

Very rugged, very "Brokeback". Its no surprise many of the more popular Sellecks are western in theme.

(Airbag Fun Fact) Western Sellecks are also known as "Quigley's".

Simply a gorgeous rendering. A masterful Selleck, to say the least.

A daper Selleck, awash in gray tones. Marvelous.

A post impressionist Selleck, from Steve Wynn's private collection

A whimsical Selleck doodle, that immediately brings to mind comic legend Charlie Chaplin. This piece perfectly captures the spirit of Mr. Selleck's wonderful turn as Dr. Richard Burke, Monica Gellar's distinguished gentleman suitor on TV's "Friends".

Another brilliantly crafted "Quiqley". Bravo.

This one is most intriguing, a haunting Selleck indeed.

Was it painted on the side of a Carnivel Ride? or perhaps it was commissioned by an Asian casino?

Oils, arcrylics, watercolors, each medium brings it's own unique qualities to a Selleck. For those interested in owning a Selleck, visit your friendly neighborhood art gallery as they are bound to have a Selleck or two.
But you better bring your check book, because much like the man himself, these Sellecks don't come cheap.

***Are you a Selleck artist or collector? Send photos of your Sellecks to The Airbag Trend Watch.

Happy Birthday Danny Pintauro!

2007-01-07T17:06:00.000-08:00

Danny Pintauro, gymnastics prodigy/child star of Cujo and TV's "Whos' The Boss", turned 31 today!

31 years and not a single coke arrest!
Way to go Danny!!!